Newt Gengrich
This was a statement made by Newt Gingrich
"If combat means living in a ditch, females have biological problems
staying in a ditch for thirty days because they get infections and they
don't have upper body strength. I mean, some do, but they're relatively
rare. On the other hand, men are basically little piglets, you drop them
in the ditch, they roll around in it, doesn't matter, you know. These
things are very real. On the other hand, if combat means being on an
Aegis-class cruiser managing the computer controls for twelve ships
and their rockets, a female may be again dramatically better than a male
who gets very, very frustrated sitting in a chair all the time because
males are biologically driven to go out and hunt giraffes."
-- Adjunct Professor Newt Gingrich, Reinhardt College, January 7, 1995,
"Renewing American Civilization."
The following is a letter making Internet e-mail rounds to Rep. Newt
Gingrich
from Fresno Bee reporter John Scalzi. It includes an informal poll
Scalzi
conducted on Newt's remarks about --and astonishing misunderstanding of
--
typical male behavior.
Dear Mr. Gingrich:
My name is John Scalzi, and I am a columnist for the Fresno Bee in
Fresno,
California. In the days since the unearthing of your comments about men,
women, combat, and the biological drive for men to hunt giraffes, I have
taken
it upon myself to conduct a poll to see whether that innate
giraffe-hunting
urge (and the little piglet wallowing urge) is in fact alive and well in
the
average American male.
While the sample polled is statistically small (50 men, basically
whomever
was
handy at the time) and largely comprised of white, college-educated,
gainfully
employed males, I nevertheless feel that the information gleaned from
this
poll will be of some value to someone, somewhere, some time. Perhaps you
yourself, should the subject of instinctual giraffe slaughtering come up
again. Certainly for me, as it takes up the bulk of my column, to be
published
soon.
Thank you for your time, and happy hunting and/or wallowing, whichever
the
case may be.
1. Have you ever hunted a giraffe?
Yes: 0% No: 100%
2. Have you ever had the urge to hunt a giraffe?
Yes:4% No: 96%
3. Provided the right tools and the time, would you hunt a giraffe?
Yes: 8% No: 92%
4. If not a giraffe, would you hunt another African savannah animal?
Yes: 20% No: 80%
5. If you had to hunt another African savannah animal, which of the
following
would you choose?
a) Zebra: 2% b) Rhino: 6%
c) Meerkat: 12% d) Boar: 42%
e) Any creature that appeared in "The Lion King": 36%
6. Do you think giraffe would taste like chicken?
Yes: 38% No: 62%
7. Might it not make more sense not to hunt giraffe, but rather to set
up
giraffe ranches?
Yes: 92% No: 8%
8. When you see Geoffrey, the Toys 'R' Us giraffe, do you ever get the
urge to stick him with a spear?
Yes: 40% No: 60%
9. Do you expect that Newt Gingrich has ever had the urge to hunt a
giraffe?
Yes: 74% No: 26%
10. If Newt Gingrich were to hunt a giraffe, would he use tools, or
simply his own mouth?
Tools: 48% Mouth: 52%
11. Would you rather hunt a giraffe, or wallow in a ditch like a little
piglet?
Hunt: 30% Wallow: 70%
12. Would you generally describe yourself as a little piglet?
Yes: 22% No: 78%
13. Would you describe Newt Gingrich as a little piglet?
Yes: 54% No: 46%
14. If you could, would you hunt Newt Gingrich?
Yes: 58% No: 42%
15. Would Newt Gingrich taste like chicken?
Yes: 18% No: 82%
-Michael